A Brief History In Rhyme

When I started reading A Brief History Of Time I was immediately struck by a number of rhymes hidden within the text and thought it would be fun to tease them out. In order to do this I first had to understand what I was reading. Some time later I ended up with an interpretation of over a hundred rhyming poems. Here are a few of them relating to famous thinkers:

 

About Aristotle

He was born in three-eighty-four BC
And attended Plato’s Academy,
Hanging out with his sceptical buddies,
Talking about empirical studies.
He was male and Greek and pedagogic
And he systemised deductive logic,
Lecturing the late great Alexander
On affairs of state and propaganda.
He taught at the famous Athens Lyceum
(Close to the site of today’s museum).
He talked as he walked and he thought when he sat,
Musing while cruising and chewing the fat.
King of the Geeks and Peripatetics;
Conversing with ancient Greeks on ethics;
Traversing astronomy, fauna and flora;
He wrote Analytica Posteriora.

 


 

Galileo Galilei

He was born in the fifteen hundreds near Pisa,
His dad was a notable musical geezer,
He widened our view of both science and research,
And he had a to-do with the Catholic Church.

He found ways to increase the magnification
Of Lippershay’s new telescopic creation
So Jupiter’s satellites came into view
And geocentricity could not be true.

He’s thought as The Father of all Modern Science
But Cardinal Bellarmine wanted compliance
From heliocentrics who wouldn’t agree
With the biblical dogma of Pope Paul the V.

Then his mate Barberini became the new Pope
And G.G. was given a reason to hope
His pal could ask God to grant papal permission
And give him the nod from the big Inquisition.

So he published his thesis, he hoped and he prayed
But His Holiness said he was shocked and dismayed,
Now his dreams were all dashed, he was swiftly despatched,
And he got house arrest for the rest of his natch.

He remained quite committed to staying at home,
Where he sat with a telescope all on his own.
Now he used it to spy on the girls in the town
While pulling his ocular tube up and down.

 


 

Newton

Isaac Newton
Fought with a Teuton.
Gottfried Wilhelm von Leibniz accused him of improprieties,
And they both became two tasty biscuit varieties.


 

Clerk Maxwell

James Clerk Maxwell
Could do maths well.
With simplicity and pragmatism
He unified the partial theories of electricity and magnetism.

 


 

Albert Einstein

The insanity clause of two world wars set science centre stage.
The ‘back room boys’ and ‘boffins’ were the players of the age.
But Einstein held the modest view, which no one could besmirch:
“If I knew what I was doing, it would not be called research”.
He favoured flights of fantasy beyond the fruits of knowledge.
Imagination was the key, not what he learned in college.
And though he found it handy knowing how to use a book,
He would never memorize a fact he couldn’t just look up.
His logic was a conduit to get from here to there;
His flash of insight rocket thrust could take him everywhere.
He said he had no special gift, no talent to be truthful,
It was just the knack to stick at things that made him really useful.
His truth was plain and good as gold, the way his God had planned it.
He said “Explain it to a six year old to prove you understand it”.
The atom bomb will not exist till scientists invent them,
The learned ones fix glitches, but the geniuses prevent them.

 


 

Hawking

Stephen Hawking
Uses a computer-based communication system for talking
He went to Cambridge to do research in cosmology.
If he dislikes this rhyme he has my sincere apology.

 


 

Laplace

Pierre-Simon, Marquis de Laplace:
Napoleon Bonaparte busted his ass.
And commented “Pierre-Simon, vous êtes pants”,
But to everyone else he’s ‘The Newton of France’.

 


 

Wolfgang Style

(best sung to Gangnam Style)

Wolfgang Pauli style
Wolfgang style

His principle was based upon a theory of exclusion
A simple view that takes things to a logical conclusion
And you could be forgiven if you think its all illusion
It’s the cause of much confusion

They can’t be the same
Not two particles’ position
They can’t be the same
Not two particles’ condition
They can’t be the same
Not position or condition
They can’t be the same
Cannot be the same

Its essential this is essential
Cos it shows (hey!)
Because it shows (hey!)
This behaviour is influential
In the way (hey!)
Particles play (hey!)
With an atoms’ inner structure as it goes
Goes goes goes

Wolfgang Pauli style
Wolfgang style
Wolf Wolf Wolf Wolf Wolfgang Pauli style
Wolfgang style
Wolf Wolf Wolf Wolf Wolfgang Pauli style
(Eh sexy lepton)
Wolf Wolf Wolf Wolf Wolfgang Pauli style
(Eh sexy lepton)
Wolf Wolf Wolf Wolf (Eh Eh Eh Eh Eh Eh)

The particles that carry force are not to be included
Within the basic principle of things to be excluded.
A massive force could then of course be easily concluded
When exchanges all colluded

They can’t be the same
Not two particles’ position
They can’t be the same
Not two particles’ condition
They can’t be the same
Not position or condition
They can’t be the same
Cannot be the same
Its essential this is essential
Cos it shows (hey!)
Because it shows (hey!)
This behaviour is influential
In the way (hey!)
Particles play (hey!)
With an atoms’ inner structure as it goes
Goes goes goes

Wolfgang Pauli style
Wolfgang style
Wolf Wolf Wolf Wolf Wolfgang Pauli style
Wolfgang style
Wolf Wolf Wolf Wolf Wolfgang Pauli style
(Eh sexy lepton)
Wolf Wolf Wolf Wolf Wolfgang Pauli style
(Eh sexy lepton)
Wolf Wolf Wolf Wolf (Eh Eh Eh Eh Eh Eh)

Particles
Force-toting particles
Baby baby
Particles
The mass of particles
Particles
Exchanging particles
Baby baby
Will effect the force range
Particles
You know what I’m saying?

Wolfgang Pauli style
(Eh Eh Eh Eh Eh Eh Eh sexy lepton)
Wolf Wolf Wolf Wolf Wolfgang Pauli style
(Eh sexy lepton)
Wolf Wolf Wolf Wolf (Eh Eh Eh Eh Eh Eh)
Wolfgang Pauli style